Does a church really need a disability ministry? A place where people with disabilities can come together for prayer, support, and encouragement. I used to think so, but now I’m not so sure. The very best experiences I’ve ever had are when my friends go out of their way to include me despite my physical limitations. It’s those moments when I feel just like an ordinary human being among friends that I covet the most. If more people with disabilities could experience what it’s like to be a “normal” member of the church body, socializing and serving alongside everyone else, I’m not sure we would need a dedicated disability ministry after all. I realize those words may earn me some flak. Of course, I want all people, disabled and otherwise, to experience the richness of church community, and if it takes a disability ministry to achieve that, I’m all in. Yet, there may be other ways to help people with disabilities integrate into the church body, and for church members to include them, without a purpose-built disability ministry.
So, outside of a dedicated ministry, how can people with disabilities feel more connected and valued in the church? I can’t say that I have all the answers, but here are some things that have helped me:
- Ask for help. Sometimes, as a disabled person, you’re simply afraid to ask for help when you need it. You don’t want to bother people. You don’t want to seem needy or be a burden. As Christians, we’re called to love one another selflessly. Odds are, those around you in the church community would love to help you, but simply need to be told how. Most of the time people will consider it a complete joy to help you if you ask. And guess what? One of the easiest ways to bond with someone else is to ask them for help. Want to make a friend? Ask someone to do something you can’t do for yourself and you’ll make one.
- Share your struggles. When sharing about your life as someone with a disability, it’s easy to simply say everything is great and move on. Sometimes we think no one will understand our physical struggles. We don’t want to burden people with our difficulties or darken the mood. But oftentimes vulnerability is the key to making strong connections. If we openly share our lives and pray with each other, it creates an authentic connection that remaining silent never would.
- Go to things. As both an introvert and a person with a disability, it’s easy to choose not to participate in church functions or other social gatherings. Can I get a ride? Will the place be accessible? Is the atmosphere too loud or crowded to navigate? If you’ve made friends by following those first two steps, then people are going to start inviting you to things. And if they want you to be somewhere, they’ll figure out how to get you there. It might be uncomfortable going new places and meeting new people, but in the end I usually find it’s worth it.
- Pray. I’m not very good at this step. If I asked God to provide what I needed more often, life would be even more amazing than it already is. If you’re lonely, ask God to bring you friends. If you’re depressed, ask God to bring people into your life that cheer you up. The last thing God wants is for us to be isolated from each other and He will provide rich, lifelong friendships if you ask. And sometimes even when you don’t.
I’m going to end this with a shoutout to all the friends that make my life awesome. Work friends, church friends, school friends, friends of friends. The friends that make it easy to attend Community Group dinners and game nights. The friends that invite me to random house parties and let me destroy their yards and/or homes to get in. The many friends that drive me around in my van and do stuff with me even when it’s not always easy or convenient. Basically, my people are the best! And there are others out there just like them who want to be your people, too.